Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

(650): View more from California

i think otters can do that

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(360): View more from Washington

So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else

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(703): View more from Virginia

I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

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(404): View more from Georgia

I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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(712): View more from Iowa

They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.

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