i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like