You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize