Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
