Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm always down for nudity.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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