so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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