I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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