I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
