Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
