omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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