I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
