If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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