let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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