now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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