Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
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