Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
