mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
