my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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