Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
