I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
