Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
