if only i could text you this smell
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize