And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
