carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
