so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
