you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
