Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize