You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
