dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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