She announced her abortion via fbk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
