is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
