so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His nipple licking is glorious
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