You just made me feel so damn special
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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