i love accidental penises.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
