HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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