whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Too much gin, very little bucket
time to smoke my breakfast
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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