Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
