4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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