I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
