He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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