dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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