oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
