Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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