I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
