the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
