i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
