I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
