and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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