The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
