i just google imaged poop.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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