Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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