Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
