I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
