how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize