No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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