My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude i'm inner monologue high
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
