I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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