Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You need Xanax blowdarts
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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