That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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