I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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