Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
