I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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