I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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