Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
