you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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