Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
