Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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  (216): make any headway on the foot/dick situation? http://tfl.nu/ein6
  Replies (7) Good night (666) Bad night (2120)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.

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  (919): he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer. http://tfl.nu/8j5z
  Replies (39) Good night (2577) Bad night (4373)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again

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  (740): needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again http://tfl.nu/we2r
  Replies (38) Good night (738) Bad night (4450)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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  (613): There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room. http://tfl.nu/y7ti
  Replies (17) Good night (2241) Bad night (5074)
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  (631): View more from New York

  It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

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  (631): It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom. http://tfl.nu/aix7
  Replies (48) Good night (6502) Bad night (1926)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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  (302): She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her. http://tfl.nu/dsg0
  Replies (17) Good night (4273) Bad night (1769)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.

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  (+44): We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/pfxy
  Replies (6) Good night (4489) Bad night (1174)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.

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  (609): Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/sxhu
  Replies (10) Good night (2434) Bad night (955)
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  (619): View more from California

  The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.

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  (619): The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out. (1-619): Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl. http://tfl.nu/aous
  Replies (10) Good night (2980) Bad night (622)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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  (352): You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time. http://tfl.nu/k82l
  Replies (10) Good night (2486) Bad night (724)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.

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  (+61): You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette. http://tfl.nu/8wqd
  Replies (6) Good night (1449) Bad night (512)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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  (501): I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit. http://tfl.nu/ez6v
  Replies (0) Good night (891) Bad night (311)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You can't just leave with hair like that

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  (248): You can't just leave with hair like that http://tfl.nu/83ql
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (382)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions

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  (410): I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions http://tfl.nu/ho2j
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (345)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality

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  (540): I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality http://tfl.nu/elez
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (287)

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