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I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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