operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."