Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa