Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
