Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't breathe out the right side of my face

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  (646): I can't breathe out the right side of my face http://tfl.nu/2qbr
  Replies (5) Good night (648) Bad night (1887) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.

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  (407): He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven. http://tfl.nu/duyw
  Replies (10) Good night (736) Bad night (3995) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions

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  (318): This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions http://tfl.nu/jkxb
  Replies (27) Good night (645) Bad night (3967) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.

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  (318): I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning. http://tfl.nu/5etp
  Replies (4) Good night (3539) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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  (512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7
  Replies (24) Good night (684) Bad night (6148) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.

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  (+44): You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize. http://tfl.nu/htot
  Replies (7) Good night (5155) Bad night (1130)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.

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  (914): She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles. http://tfl.nu/pzt3
  Replies (19) Good night (1747) Bad night (6151) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles

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  (651): The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles http://tfl.nu/ulwd
  Replies (7) Good night (3130) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?

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  (248): Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling? http://tfl.nu/8zdi
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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  (330): BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day http://tfl.nu/u4vh
  Replies (9) Good night (1538) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.

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  (902): figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it. http://tfl.nu/pdw3
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.

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  (847): I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor. http://tfl.nu/d172
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.

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  (208): Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success. http://tfl.nu/sluv
  Replies (1) Good night (1044) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

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  (971): you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying http://tfl.nu/m75c
  Replies (8) Good night (1437) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"

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  (727): How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me" http://tfl.nu/2grd
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (274) Order T-Shirt

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