How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
